Canada Just Announced Its Candidacy for US President

Canada Just Announced Its Candidacy for US President

According to a video released by Entrehub, a publication specializing in “news for entrepreneurs, small business & start-ups,” Canada is running for president.

Not only that, it already has the best election ad in the 2016 race.

The video is proof positive that the United States, a country that in many ways stakes itself on its pride, is becoming so blinded by that pride that it fails to see how quickly it is becoming a laughingstock to the rest of the world.

After a brief, friendly “Hello,” Canada introduces itself in the video as an unassuming, friendly man in a brown, button-down sweater, featuring a knit moose and eagle. Underlining that Canadians are not incapable of hard work, “Canada” is shown moving a cinder block, then quickly goes on to inform America that it will be running for president.

“As your whitest neighbor, we realize you don’t think about us very much. But that’s okay,” Canada says. “Sometimes being on your radar isn’t such a good thing.”

The country then goes on to say, “But we’ve been thinking about you, and I think I speak for all Canadians when I say, ‘What the f*ck?’”

Canada then goes on to list a series of examples illustrating to what degree the U.S. is going insane and falling apart.

“Your country is on fire and your leaders are whittling sticks for their marshamallows,” it says.

“Right now Congress is debating that guns have the right to marry other guns. And what is this?” Canada asks, looking at a picture of Donald Trump, asking again, “What is it? Did America lose a bet?”

Canada then aptly asks and then answers a simple question. “And who suffers from this nonsense? You do.” They then deem our residence in this country as too harsh a punishment for a people whose only crime is “turning out for elections in embarrassingly low numbers.”

Taking a further stab at the likes of Donald Trump, Canada then says, “So while we appreciate the flood of American refugees fleeing our direction, we’ve decided maybe it’s our turn to come to your house. So we are once again declaring our candidacy for president of the United States of America. Not me, not prime minister centerfold, but all of us—34 million of the politest people you will ever meet.”

Yep, Canada is throwing its maple leaf in the race, but before laughing too much, just take a listen to Canada’s pitch and see if it doesn’t sound much more promising than what you’re hearing from virtually every other candidate gunning for the Oval Office. You may just find it’s high time you finally see “aboot” voting.

0
Like
Save